Dear fishing buddy,
I considered slinking away quietly from our fishing friendship. But I’ve decided to give you a chance by addressing the issue head on, because good friends are honest with each other. You smell like old sauerkraut and raw sewage. Whatever vile rot festers inside your waders has decayed down to a new level of repulsion.
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote:
“Stink! Stank, stunk!” — Dr. Seuss (You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch)
I know that this is all mildly amusing to you. On the way home, you’ve chuckled about your rancid odor when I’ve brought it up. Your own stench is apparently something you quickly get used to, but I don’t think the rest of us do. This is different than your sweaty flip flops. It’s bad, man.
Couple tips here, from me, your buddy:
Inside Right Side
As our friend Sloop John B. says:
“Only one side of your waders matters if it’s dry or not.”
Great point, Sloop.
Please turn your waders inside out when you take them off. Every time. Hang them in the air and sunlight for a little while to kill that bacteria. No joke. A few UV rays will kill some of the nasty stuff.
Bacteria and You
Yeah, this is the disgusting part. I really don’t want to smell what happens when your bodily fluids mix with the wrong bacteria and form feculent colonies.
If you turn them inside out, your waders won’t get the stank. But clearly, you already have a bacteria problem going there. So use some Lysol. Spray the insides down with Summer Breeze scent or something. You could also try a pasty mix of baking soda and water. Spread it on the waders, let it dry, and then rinse off.
Those are low-tech solutions.
If you want to spend a couple bucks ( you didn’t mind buying those Simms G4’s) then purchase Gear Aid Revivex Odor Eliminator, and take care of the problem with a product designed to eliminate whatever wretched hell you have cooking in those waders.
Hey man, if you don’t believe me about all this, read these articles for some confirmation about what’s brewing down there.
But let’s be honest. Your waders situation may be too far gone for any of that. Maybe burn them. I don’t care, really. Just wear different waders, or wet wade the next time we hang.
Never wear those waders before you get in my truck again.
Enjoy the day.
T R O U T B I T T E N